Nip A Breakup In The Bud
It takes a very long time and hard work to build a rock solid relationship, sometimes this can take a lifetime. Sadly our relationships can fall apart very quickly and easily.
The most common cause of relationship breakdown that I have seen is neglect or unresolved arguments that create eventually horrible resentment between you and your partner. Once resentment breeds within a relationship, this can destroy trust, respect and eventually your love and commitment. Love and commitment are the last things to fall apart as love and commitment is what essentially holds the relationship together, and couples can nip the problems in the bud before the love fades, then they really do have a fighting chance of putting it all back together.
Below are a few pointers to get you on the road of repairing any damage that may have been affecting your relationship:
Settle down in a quiet place, turn off the phone and the telly and get to work.
Think about what you love and like about your partner, write it down if you wish. Doing this will remind you of all the positive you have in your relationship and it is this positive stuff that you must focus on to rebuild the closeness with your partner. How does your partner inspire you? Write this down. Does he or she motivate you to try new things, learn new skills? This is what I am talking about.
Take the time to become involved in the things that your lover likes to do.
Even if you don’t like these things, make the effort. Join them at a football game or cook them a special meal, something they like. Let them do what they want for one evening. If he or she wants to see a movie that you aren’t particularly interested in seeing, make yourself go for their sake. Believe me; they will respond in a positive way by becoming involved in things that you like to do.
Do not create too much space between you and your partner.
Yes; every couple needs time out, and some more than others. However, make sure you are paying attention to the relationship, and not focusing too much on doing your own thing. This sort of thing can lead to trouble. Give your partner support and encouragement with things that they wish to do. They may have an interest in rock climbing. Tag along and be a spectator if rock climbing is something you are not into. They will understand that, and appreciate your willingness to want to be a part of their interest.
People do change and grow and it is usually for the better and quite ok.
It is important to try and go with these changes and it is also ok to have differing opinions. This is what happens in a relationship. We are in a relationship to learn from each other and to grow and change together. Discussing how you feel about your differences is very important. You should always be open with your partner and not hold anything back. If you truly love each other, you will come to a mutual understanding. It is a good idea that the timing is right when discussing sensitive issues. When you are both relaxed and lazing around on the lounge after dinner is a good example. Perhaps you could make time to go walking with your dog if you have one and talk while you are walking and enjoying the fresh air.
Paying attention to your lover and your relationship will build closeness and trust. Communicating clearly and lovingly will also build closeness, trust and understanding. Doing things for your partner that you usually do not do; like playing a computer game with them, will build appreciation. Do you see how all of these ideas will help your relationship instead of harm it? Constant arguing and bickering about who did what to whom and silent treatment certainly do not build any sort of closeness or trust. The positive actions outlines above most certainly will.
Written by Janelle Coulton, 05 Jul 2012
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Copyright © 2012 Janelle Coulton
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