My Future Mother In Law Hates Me

How many times have you heard women say that their boyfriend or fiances mother hates them? This is a problem that is so common these days that it’s kind of scary.

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Mothers that cannot cut the umbilical cord with their sons, are unhealthy, dysfunctional and downright frustrating. When your boyfriend has a relationship like this with his mother it is usually about the mother not wanting to let go of her son. She believes her son is being taken away and instead of trying to build a friendship with her soon to be daughter in law, she will find fault with this girl and try to convince her son to break up with her.

Are you the girlfriend/fiance in this scenario? This situation is not going to be easy for you, in-fact it will be downright annoying, hurtful and frustrating. You might be the right girl for him and he may profess to love you and want to marry you, but the obstacles you will need to overcome are difficult to say the least. You may be young and decide that you have all the time in world for boyfriends and marriage and decide to walk away. But it’s not so easy if you are madly in love with your man. How do you convince him to walk away and be a man, independent of his mother? You may have your work cut out for you. She could very well be the trouble making future in-law from hell.

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She might make up stories about her son’s behavior when you are not around, and when questioned by her son she denies saying it. It puts your boyfriend in the middle between you and his mother. The best thing you can do if you are going to try and work this out is make friends with his mother, and kill her with kindness. She will be surprised at this because she is hoping you will play her game and make yourself look bad in front of your boyfriend. But if you just be nice, and the next time she makes up stuff regarding her son’s behavior ask her quite innocently if she really believes that her son is seeing other women, because you believe he and you are building a relationship here. Then go on to say that he couldn’t possibly be seeing other women because he is busy at work, with me and helping you out. She may well back off.

It’s all very well to get her to leave you alone, but you have no idea what goes on behind your back and if you are going to achieve getting your boyfriend to be independent of his mother, as it should be, then you are in for more heartache than you realize. One way to tell if you have a shot is to watch him. Is he obsessive about his mother and what she thinks? Does he expect you to wait on him, hand and foot? And lastly, does he act like a child and throw tantrums if things don’t go according to his plan? These are all bad signs.

But before you throw in the towel and call it quits you might want to consider moving to another town or city. If you believe that you and he are made for each other and meant to be, then you will need some distance from his mother and family of origin anyway. If he has the tendency to be a mummy’s boy then moving a few hours away would be beneficial. However, having said that she may follow you there. If she believes that this is the real thing for her son, she will be frightened and scared of losing him. She may try to build a friendship with you.

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This would be a problem because anytime you two have a lovers tiff; she will be in it up to her neck, as it is an opportunity for her to get her son back. It is not your place to try and heal her obsessive nature, but she should see a counselor. And don’t take it personally, she would do this to any woman he brought home. No-one will ever be good enough for her son.

If this relationship is what you want then you will need to be patient and stick it out. You will need to get him to see that he cannot be dependent on his mother for the rest of his life and if she is mean or interferes, he needs to step up and tell her off. If he’s not prepared to do that, then you need to run for the hills. If you are able to get him to let go, then you have a much better chance of building a life that is about the two of you and your future. Three people in a relationship is just crazy and what’s more it is so dysfunctional because the third person is your boyfriend’s mother.

Seriously, if your boyfriend does think there is something wrong with his mother being so demanding and obsessive, then there is likely something wrong with him too. Perhaps the two of you can see a family counselor and sort all this out. It is something that should happen before marriage anyway, so if you are getting engaged then make sure that you do some counseling, at least six months before the wedding. So many more marriage would survive if this was a condition for getting a married license.

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Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney

Why Nagging Your Partner Doesn't Work

Relationships are never perfect. Partners inevitably do something to upset their significant other at some stage. But do you know how negative nagging someone can be. How frustrating was it when you were nagged by your parents to do whatever, all the time. Annoying; and it is never effective in getting what you want.

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Most of us will nag our partners at some stage of the relationship and this is a habit we get into probably because out parents nagged us, and so on; however when a person is constantly being nagged, this is when it becomes negative. And partners have left their spouses simply because they cannot stand being nagged. Not a reason for divorce, but it happens. I had a friend whose father left his mother for this reason, and he subsequently missed out on knowing his Dad, which was this man’s choice; but who stops seeing their kids because their wife’s a nagger? The hope is; not many people.

Why Do We Nag?

Well this was answered before; but nagging is learnt behaviour and usually taught by our Mum or Dad. However nagging can become a nasty habit too. You know you shouldn’t nag, but you can’t help it.

Everyone nags their partner about something. It's normal. And if everyone does it, it must work, right? Wrong. It generally does not work, which is surprising given so many people do this. Some people may give up out of frustration and do what their partner asks; however this is the exception rather than the rule. When most of us are nagged to death, we dig our heels in and won’t budge an inch.

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We do it to release tension, or anger. We do it out frustration and we don’t get why the other person does not understand us. We may think our nagging will help someone; however nagging is the last thing that will help. But the main reason we nag is fear; fear that our partner will not make changes if we do not tell them what it is we don’t like.

When fear starts running the show; look out, you are heading down a dangerous path. You have no idea what to do; so out of fear you nag; and fear drives this negative behavior.

Why Nagging Almost Never Works?

Nagging doesn't work! It is counterproductive to your relationship. It does nothing to solidify the bond between you or enhance communication. Nagging can have the opposite effect. Here's why: Nagging is criticism and criticism is negative, hostile, aggressive, and an intimidating act. Nagging someone is akin to informing them that what they are doing is bad or wrong. We may have the best intentions in the world; however nagging is criticizing and most of us get defensive if we are criticized. A person who gets defensive may shut down in order to protect themselves. They will no longer be able to process information in a healthy way. Nagging begets resistance and the more resistant your partner is, the more damage is being done to the relationship. It is impossible to maintain a positive exchange of ideas and feelings if the messages are always negative. Love, acceptance, support, goodwill and commitment cannot be nurtured in an environment where nagging is prevalent.

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What To Do Instead

So now you need to undo the damage that your nagging has done. Perhaps your partner nags you about things, but once you begin to make change, you will soon notice a difference in how you relate. Step by step you can fix this; so as to get to better communication with your spouse:

Step 1: Stop Nagging

Right now you need to stop nagging. Just stop nagging about anything, ever. Your partner knows what you are upset about; believe me they know. They will not forget, because they have been hearing your critical words for some time now. Removing the nagging will mean they are no longer on the defensive and if they are not constantly defending their position then they will be more open to change. Breaking this habit won’t be easy, you will need to be tough with yourself; nagging your spouse is a habit that needs to be unlearned and removed from your methods of communication.

Step 2: Is It Really Worth It

Think things over and choose your battles. If the issues you were nagging about are minor, it may be possible to let it go. Decide how important it is to you. Is it worth causing your partner pain? Is the behavior so destructive that you cannot tolerate it and move on? Choosing to be closer to your partner is much better than the hostile environment you are now in. If, after analyzing the issue carefully it is important enough to pursue, then move on to Step 3.

Step 3: Change Your Behavior 

The only behavior we can control is our own, so good communication with ourselves comes first. We have chosen to nag without any results so we are changing this behavior. It will take time before the person is open to change, especially if the nagging has been going on for years. Inform your partner that you will not nag them anymore because you know it causes them pain and you want to get rid of the negative feelings in the relationship. Asking them how you can help them in changing the situation for the better is the first step, and when they tell you what they need, be sure to follow through with that help. Once you know what to do, you can put this into action. Do it no matter what, even if your partner does not follow through on their part right away. Keep doing what they have asked and if necessary you can ask them again if there is anything else you can do to help and then do it. Knowing what to do will help you in the sense that when we are frustrated and nagging our partner, it is largely because we have no idea what to do.

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In Conclusion

Finding a healthy compromise is a way to take control of a negative situation. We must always be prepared to give and take and share responsibly for our relationship to shine. It may not be all about your partner or even his fault, there may be contributing factors and some of it might be about what you can do. Things are never the way we perceive them to be from another persons view. There will always be something we can do; change, give up or own up to that will get this process underway and bring about positive changes. Once we take responsibility for our own behavior, our partner should follow suit.

Originally posted by Janelle Coulton on Beyond Jane - Triond

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Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney

Is My Spouse Cheating?

Things to watch out for if you think your husband or wife is cheating on you.

Determining if your spouse is cheating on you can be tricky. You want to be sure about this. Some experts have found that the chance of adultery is high in a lot of marriages. More than fifty percent of couples experience infidelity at one time in their marriage.

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The signs that your spouse may be cheating come in many forms and there might be a good reason behind any signs you see that something is different with your spouse. It is important to rule out other factors before coming to the conclusion that you are being cheated on. Usually an unfaithful partner will leave many clues when he or she is being unfaithful.

Your Partner Is AWOL

One sign could be that your partner is not at home as much. It is important to determine the reason for this before jumping to the wrong conclusion. Is there something going on at work that requires your spouse to be at home less or perhaps it is family related. He or she may simply want a little more space to hang out with friends; we all need a time-out sometimes.

They Are Less Romantic

Is your partner less romantic with you? Are you having less sex? Is your partner less affectionate towards you or have they stopped complimenting you. While this could be a sign, there could be a number of reasons for this too. Your marriage may simply be starting to stagnate simply due to life being too busy, and a little attention may be what’s needed.

Your Partner Lies

Catching your partner out in a lie or several lies could be a sign and this is indeed a sign that something is up. If your partner is lying to you then you need to find out why, and the direct approach is usually the only way here. Having said that, it is important that you do not accuse him unless you are sure or have proof. If your partner is cheating; they will usually lie to cover it up. Having the knowledge to read whether someone is lying is something that comes instinctively. Many of us know when something isn’t right.

Looking at the evidence will tell you a lot, but if however after evaluating these signs you are not sure, then it is best to wait it out. Accusing someone who is innocent is never a good idea.

Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney

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How To Use Attraction And Charisma To Win Back Your Lover

Remind your lover of why they were attracted to you in the first place.

Photo by Josna

After a break-up, your attractive and charismatic qualities are forgotten to your ex. It is possible that he or she has not seen this side of you for awhile. There are many ways of using your attraction to win back your ex. 

Become more like your ex, meaning; mimic the person that they would like to be. When you work on positive traits, characteristics and talents that your ex wishes for him or her self; this is a winning situation for you both. You become a better person and you create a charismatic aura that will surround you. Your ex cannot help but be attracted to the changes in you, in the areas most important to them. The effect of this is powerful. It can be almost like meeting you for the first time; again.

Can your ex be the person they want to be whilst in your presence? If not, then why is this so? You need to do all you can do to lift up your partner and help them be what they want to be. If your lover is doing the same for you, you can share something magical, a rewarding, and loving connection. This is what some people refer to as soul-mates.

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Are you accepting of your ex’s values and opinions in life and love? Respect for each other’s values and what you find important in life can also create a powerful connection.

Do you see how powerful this is? You can use this tip in conjunction with others that you have learned and put this information to use in winning back your ex. It is kind of like returning to the beginning of the relationship when the attraction was extremely strong. Portraying your best self to your partner and showing acceptance, appreciation and positive attitude will enhance your chances of a reunion.


Recently I received a few emails asking questions about sex within marriage and relationships. So stay tuned to this blog for my series of posts on sexual issues in relationships.

Fix Your Broken Heart And Discover The Powerful Hidden Secrets To Stop Thinking About Your Ex Once And For Good! Get Your Free ‘Biggest Break up Mistakes’ Mini-Course. Go to: WinBackLove

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Copyright © 2007 Angie Rose Whitney

Save Your Love Before It Disappears

Nip A Breakup In The Bud

It takes a very long time and hard work to build a rock solid relationship, sometimes this can take a lifetime. Sadly our relationships can fall apart very quickly and easily.

The most common cause of relationship breakdown that I have seen is neglect or unresolved arguments that create eventually horrible resentment between you and your partner. Once resentment breeds within a relationship, this can destroy trust, respect and eventually your love and commitment. Love and commitment are the last things to fall apart as love and commitment is what essentially holds the relationship together, and couples can nip the problems in the bud before the love fades, then they really do have a fighting chance of putting it all back together.

Below are a few pointers to get you on the road of repairing any damage that may have been affecting your relationship:

Settle down in a quiet place, turn off the phone and the telly and get to work.

Think about what you love and like about your partner, write it down if you wish. Doing this will remind you of all the positive you have in your relationship and it is this positive stuff that you must focus on to rebuild the closeness with your partner. How does your partner inspire you? Write this down. Does he or she motivate you to try new things, learn new skills? This is what I am talking about.

Take the time to become involved in the things that your lover likes to do. 

Even if you don’t like these things, make the effort. Join them at a football game or cook them a special meal, something they like. Let them do what they want for one evening. If he or she wants to see a movie that you aren’t particularly interested in seeing, make yourself go for their sake. Believe me; they will respond in a positive way by becoming involved in things that you like to do.

Do not create too much space between you and your partner. 

Yes; every couple needs time out, and some more than others. However, make sure you are paying attention to the relationship, and not focusing too much on doing your own thing. This sort of thing can lead to trouble. Give your partner support and encouragement with things that they wish to do. They may have an interest in rock climbing. Tag along and be a spectator if rock climbing is something you are not into. They will understand that, and appreciate your willingness to want to be a part of their interest.

People do change and grow and it is usually for the better and quite ok. 

It is important to try and go with these changes and it is also ok to have differing opinions. This is what happens in a relationship. We are in a relationship to learn from each other and to grow and change together. Discussing how you feel about your differences is very important. You should always be open with your partner and not hold anything back. If you truly love each other, you will come to a mutual understanding. It is a good idea that the timing is right when discussing sensitive issues. When you are both relaxed and lazing around on the lounge after dinner is a good example. Perhaps you could make time to go walking with your dog if you have one and talk while you are walking and enjoying the fresh air.

Paying attention to your lover and your relationship will build closeness and trust. Communicating clearly and lovingly will also build closeness, trust and understanding. Doing things for your partner that you usually do not do; like playing a computer game with them, will build appreciation. Do you see how all of these ideas will help your relationship instead of harm it? Constant arguing and bickering about who did what to whom and silent treatment certainly do not build any sort of closeness or trust. The positive actions outlines above most certainly will.

Written by Janelle Coulton, 05 Jul 2012


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Copyright © 2012 Janelle Coulton

Soul-Mates

Do You Believe They Exist?

Do you believe you’ve found your soul-mate? How do you know if your partner is your soul-mate? This process takes time. Quality time spent together getting to know your significant other. The longer you are in love with your soul-mate; the chances are higher that you have found your soul-mate. Better communication skills will emerge and you both will share more experiences resulting in more similarities. Soul-mates are two people who are very compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, and sensitivity.


If you can merely hold each other in silence, saying completely nothing, and still the pain goes away, then you have found your soul-mate. He or she senses your thoughts and feelings without either of you sharing them, and shares a love with you that empty platitudes and clichés can never capture.


The simple thought of your soul-mate, the knowledge that he or she is present in your life, and loves you will be enough to take away the pain. You will gain strength from knowing he or she is close by and together you are united as a couple. When you find your soul-mate, you don’t even need to hear their voice or feel their caress in order to find comfort. Even if you are separated by thousands of miles, the pain goes away simply because you know your partner loves and cares about you. Soul-mate relationships have incredible soothing powers; they are heart warming and possess healing qualities.


You know you have found your soul-mate when everything that you experience you want to share with them. When you see something beautiful, like a sunrise or a sunset, do you miss them and wish they could share this moment with you? When something good happens, do you immediately want to tell them about it? When you see him or her smile, or hear him or her laugh does that make you happy? Do you feel like you have a deep connection that you cannot put into words? If your answers to these questions are yes, then you have found your soul-mate.


You will want to share every part of yourself with your soul-mate. All of a sudden, living on your own will seem strange. Your soul-mate completes you and without them you feel incomplete. A soul-mate complements you in the deepest way. What you once lacked, he or she adds to your life. Your soul-mate improves you as a person, and inspires you to achieve life-time goals and work towards both of your dreams.


A soul-mate is not a perfect partner; a soul-mate is someone who is perfect for you. When you find your soul-mate you will see his or her faults. Love is not blind. You will be aware that your soul-mate lacks so much in so many areas of life, but that won’t matter at all. You know that you need each other, that you belong together, and that as a couple you will overcome all flaws and obstacles.




Many people have asked me whether I think that soul-mates exist. And many people have disagreed with me and do not believe that their soul-mates are out there. Personally, I believe you can find your soul-mate. Some of us are lucky enough to do this and others are not. If you believe your lover is your soul-mate, and you feel that your relationship could be better, then I recommend you visit The Romantic's Website. This site is totally dedicated to creating a better relationship with your mate. Visit The Romantic Today!







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Copyright © 2007 Angie Rose Whitney