Things That Men Resent About Their Partners Or Wives

There are quite a few things that men resent about women, this article by guest blogger; Janelle Coulton discusses ten things that women do that really upset men.

Every marriage or relationship has conflict. Your partner is not going to like everything about you and there are some things that men absolutely cannot deal with when it comes to their wife or partner. At some point couples will run into these dilemmas and will have to deal with them. It isn’t the fact that your man resents something that you are saying or doing that ruins relationships, what ruins a relationship is dealing with this type of conflict in a negative way or not dealing with it all.

Frustration in a marriage builds because couples are not airing out the dirty laundry and getting these issues resolved and then resentment can build even more, until someone explodes. Couples need to discuss the little, inconsequential things instead of sweeping them under the rug. They may not seem important enough to bring up, but if you feel your husband is getting frustrated with you over something, then it needs to be discussed. Below are some of these most common things about women that men say they resent. The following also contains a little advice on how you can protect your marriage or relationship.

*Wives who don’t fight fair:

All couples fight, whether you and your spouse are happy in your marriage or not. Most happy couples know how to fight fair. Instead of attacking their partner they will describe how they are feeling about the situation. Research shows that wives usually bring up problems in the marriage for discussion. Husbands are most likely to back off if things get tense. When this happens, women will start conversations in a negative way, which makes everything worse. Instead of resorting to put downs and attacks, try telling your husband what the problem is by using several “I” messages. Attacking your husband will just put him on the defensive, when you would do better to ask for what you need.

*Acting like he is a child. 

Men really resent being spoken down to like they are children and they certainly do not want to be micro-managed. This will leave him feeling like less of a man and he will definitely start resenting his wife eventually if this treatment goes on. You may not feel he can be trusted with some things, however you need to let go and trust him to take care of things. If he messes up then hopefully he will learn from his mistake. Some wives will take on their man’s responsibilities because they just don’t trust him to do it right. Your husband will feel completely inadequate if he senses that you don’t trust him to take care of certain things, so stop managing him and trust him to do the right thing.

*Involving a third party

You might think that it is totally harmless to vent your frustration to a friend or family member, but if your husband finds out about it, he may feel as though you betrayed him and this could affect the trust in your marriage. This is a big threat to your marriage as you really have no business complaining to your friends about your relationship and your husband. Men feel hurt and humiliated and will probably never feel totally comfortable in that particular friend or family member’s presence ever again. If you feel the need to express your frustration about your husband, talk to your family doctor or a counselor because this kind of talk really should be confidential.

*Women who show little appreciation:

Men will never tell you this, but they need to feel appreciated. When their wife says thank you for a job well done, men are literally tickled pink as they love nothing more than to please the woman in their life. Giving your husband praise when it’s due is something that he needs and when a man does not hear or see appreciation, they do get upset and begin to hold resentment towards their wife. It is very important that you pay attention to what your husband does, even if he is loading the dishwasher and putting on some laundry, he is likely doing it to show that he cares about you. Let him know that you have noticed his efforts and show your appreciation with a “thank you.”

*Punishing him by withholding sex:

Some women will withhold sex because they are not receiving the emotional intimacy they need to be sexual. Men express their emotional intimacy during sex so these differences can sometimes become a problem. Instead of using sex as a weapon against your husband because he is not providing what you need emotionally, you need to discuss this with him. When wives say no to sex their husband often takes it personally. Using sex as a bargaining chip to get what you need does not work and is emotional blackmail. Your husband may feel less love for you in the end and not more love, so this plan often backfires when women use it.

*Expecting him to change:

People are capable of change, but it is better to focus on changes you wish to make within yourself. Your husband is not going to change unless he really wants to and most men really resent women who try to get them to change. Perhaps you want your husband to eat more healthy food and work out with you. He will do it if he wants to, but there is no need to pressure him. Just take over the cooking and the grocery shopping and make a point of cooking healthy delicious meals. If he doesn’t like these changes then you will both need to negotiate this. Making certain changes for the better are fine, however if you are not content to let your man have a few beers on the weekend and wander about the house in his shorts and thongs then you probably need to loosen up.

*Big decision making without his input. 

Money can be a huge issue between couples, especially when couples are not discussing big purchases and investments. Even couples who have a more generous budget still have money issues. To some money is a powerful thing and sharing the balance of power in a relationship is important. Whether you are considering buying a TV or real estate, your husband needs to be a part of this decision. Big decision do not always revolved around money. You might have made the decision to sign up to go back to school and this will have you out of the house most days and needing affordable childcare. This may not seem like a big deal, but it will be for your husband if you do not discuss it with him.

*Dictating how he should parent the kids

Mothers behave differently towards their children than fathers do. There will always be issues that you both disagree on when it comes to parenting decisions. Some mothers are arrogant enough to believe that they can parent better than their spouse and if your husband starts to hold resentment towards you for your attitude to the way he parents; then it is not surprising. The differences between how mother and father choose to parent their kids needs to be respected. You need to show your husband that you trust him implicitly with the children other wise you are sending him a message that what he does with the children is wrong and what she does is right. Instead, wives need to thank their husbands for being great parents and watching the children when they couldn’t.

*Showing jealousy when he looks at other women

It is okay to look at other women, men do it all the time. Women look at other men all the time too. Men often need more visual stimulation than a woman does so if they see a beautiful woman they will stare. Most women understand this and will not take offence. Getting into an argument over some stranger your husband looked at on the street is not worth it, and if you are feeling a little jealous, keep these feeling to yourself. You husband will be upset if you show your jealously. If you get upset and show your jealousy, he will get on the defensive and the argument that follows will not be productive. It is better to say nothing. If he lets go of your hand and wanders off to talk to her, then you may have a problem.

*Expecting immediate forgiveness after you apologize. 

Apologizing is all very well, however you should not be expecting him to forgive you straight away. He may need time and you should give him that space, especially if you were totally in the wrong and his feelings were hurt. When it comes to marriage, a simple “I’m sorry” often is not enough to really heal the hurt. Spouses will need to show each other in actions that they are really sorry. If you have upset your husband, you need to show him that you do understand why he is feeling upset. You will need to be specific about what you are saying sorry for.

So be sure to remember the advice above so that you can use it to improve and protect your relationship or marriage. There are a lot of things that men do not like about their wives; however the examples listed here are the resentments that could very well destroy your marriage. If you are doing any of the things on this list, then you may want to pay attention to the advice here or book an appointment with a marriage counselor if you and your husband cannot stop arguing about this issue. Many men are not happy about participating in counseling, but once they begin and realise that the counselor is trained to be objective and is there to help get feelings out on the table, he should be okay.

Read more articles by Janelle Coulton at Jel Writes

Copyright © 2014 Janelle Coulton











Copyright © 2014 Whitney Rose

Is It Possible For A Woman Not To Know She Is Pregnant?

When a woman is unaware that she is pregnant this is known as a cryptic pregnancy. One in four hundred and fifty women reported not knowing they are pregnant until the twentieth week or later. And one in two thousand five hundred women are unaware of their pregnancy until labor starts.

While it is possible to confirm or deny pregnancy with other medical intervention, the problem with this is women who have no clue that they are pregnant or even could be pregnant won’t seek out further testing. Most women will grab a pregnancy test if they even suspect they could be pregnant. But if the test was negative, the woman will believe the result and get back to living her life. While it might seem as though women in this situation are mentally ill, or having a clear case of severe denial, this is likely to not be true. Five percent of women who did not know they were pregnant had schizophrenia and eight percent were found to have some type of personality disorder.

Apparently this condition has nothing to do with denial or a mental illness of some kind; it is a condition that has yet to be fully explained and it is extremely rare. It is only a small amount of cryptic pregnancies that are attributed to personality disorders or schizophrenia. It would appear that women with this condition are sane and well educated. They just do not know they are pregnant. They have no symptoms, no weight gain, no nausea, and very little abdomen swelling. They may still be having periods or have always had irregular periods. If they do suffer from any symptoms, they are likely to be so mild or be mistaken for something else, such as indigestion. There are very real and valid reasons for this happening and it is linked to a mother’s stress levels.

Pregnancy can be a tug of war between the mother and fetus for the mother’s limited resources. The following explanation by Marco Del Giudice, cognitive scientist at the University of Turin is that; most of the time the balance between nourishment for the fetus and mother works in the way it should biologically. But, sometimes the fetus takes nutrients from the mother, the mother holds back but not in a way that would harm the fetus. The fetus may hold back from demanding too much nourishment due certain factors.

Marco Del Giudice has gone on to say that embryos and fetuses let their mother’s know they are there and need nourishment by releasing a hormone known as human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG). This hormone needs to be present in urine to activate a home pregnancy test kit to turn positive. If the fetus is not producing enough then the pregnancy may fall “under the radar” and the pregnancy test may fail and remain undetected by the mother for a considerable amount of time. When a fetus does not release enough HCG, he or she will receive fewer resources or nutrients from the mother, this is why some babies are born preterm or under weight. This is the explanation for small babies, when there does not seem to be a medical reason for the preterm labor occurring or that the baby is so small or underweight.

There are a few factors as to why a fetus may not be producing enough of the pregnancy hormone. Chromosomal anomalies could be one reason; this means that the fetus has a birth defect. Genetics could also play a part; a healthy fetus might put out a low amount of the hormone due to a genetic problem.

Stress could be another reason. According to another theory, a fetus might release less HCG because the mother is dealing with a lot of stress. It is better from the point of view of the fetus for the mother to be oblivious to the fact that she is pregnant, as that might cause more stress. Sometimes the stress of being pregnant and other life stress can lead to a miscarriage.

Del Giudice further pointed out that in our evolutionary past a woman who did not know she was pregnant and was not suffering through the unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy was able to conserve precious energy. She was free to move around wherever she pleased and could eat the food that she chose to. This strategy possibly is not good for the fetus when things in the mother’s life are good. When we are aware of the pregnancy we change our lifestyle accordingly, eat better and evidence will tell us that this helps when growing a healthy and happy, full size and full terms. When a woman goes through hard time, relationship stress and the like, the fetus may release less HCG, or the stressed mother might be less sensitive to the HCG hormone.

Therefore this can be seen that a cryptic pregnancy is an adaptive “emergency” mechanism, which means that the fetus can sense a threat and the basic instinct to survive kicks in. The fetus chooses to demand little from the mother to ensure his or her chances of being born. So the moral of this story is: Don’t be so sure when your pregnancy test turns out to be negative. The pregnancy may not become obvious until month and months after conception.

Sources:

Marco Del Giudice

Copyright © 2014 Janelle Coulton

If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 


Copyright © 2014 Whitney Rose


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Getting A Win-Win Resolution In A Marriage Conflict

In a marriage there will always be conflict on some level. Most of these conflicts can be solved and other conflicts may be more serious and a couple may need to come to a compromise or simply agree to disagree. In any conflict or argument it is important for couples to find a resolution where “both spouses win.”

Unfortunately some conflicts can become so confrontational and emotional that for the couple, “winning the argument” and being right becomes more important. It is important to point out that being right could eventually ruin the marriage. Winning and making the other person wrong is simply not worth the damage it does to the relationship, the trust between the couple and their future ability to be able to communicate easily.

Working together and following the steps below will hopefully give you some pointers on how to reach a mutually agreeable outcome. Always keep in mind that if your partner loses, then it’s quite likely that marriage does too.

*Be clear about what the problem is; make sure you are both aware of what you are working towards. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the emotion of the situation and forget what it was you were arguing about. Therefore you need to identify what the problem is before you can solve it. Your husband or wife might be angry because you spend too much time at work and not enough time at home. Because of this you may feel that your children and you are missing out on spending quality time with your spouse. Once you are both clear on what the issue is move onto the next step.

*Ask your partner, in a non-confrontational way for what you need and want in order to resolve the issue. Do not accuse and do not use insulting language. Telling your husband or wife they are selfish is not a good way to start. Use “I” messages and speak from the heart. Say something like: “I feel hurt when we don’t get much time together because you are working so much.” Then move onto ask for what you specifically need and want.

*Be prepared to listen to what your spouse has to say. One common argument in marriages is that one or both spouses do not feel like they are being heard. When your partner responds to your request, listen to what they have to say and show them with your body language and non verbal cues that you are listening. Do not interrupt. Maintain eye contact and use verbal cues to show that you have heard what they are saying, such as; “I hear what you’re saying or I understand.” This is called active listening.

*To get a win/win outcome in a conflict with your spouse you need to deliberately search for a solution. If you feel you can’t come up with one right away, then take a break. Doing this will give you and your spouse time to think things over. When you return to the discussion, try to have a brainstorming session and throw some ideas around. Your spouse may not have a solution for how he or she can spend less time at work. It could be a really busy time and not doable for them at this time. If that is the case you need to let it go, but if you are aware that your spouse is putting in extra hours voluntarily then perhaps asking them to cut back a little would work for you.

*Instead of trying to win the argument and get your way, by brainstorming and looking for a solution you are both comfortable with, you will more than likely end up with an outcome whereby both of you win. Be willing to “negotiate and compromise.” Marriage is sometimes about sacrifice and there could be a way you could give something up so that you and your spouse are together more. This might seem like very hard work, and it is but this kind of work is what builds a strong marriage and will bring the two of you closer.

There will be times when it will be impossible to get to a win/win resolution, however you can agree to disagree or set things aside and see where things go in the next few months. Thing change all the time in our lives and you may be able to revisit the dispute down the line with the intention of solving it. Don’t give up and throw your hands in the air in frustration, just take a breath and agree with your spouse to put the issue on the back burner for a short time.

Keep in mind the next time you are arguing with your spouse, that winning the argument is not necessarily a good thing. You may win this round, but in end you are weakening your marriage.

Article Sources:

EzineArticles

Solving Marital Conflicts

For more information about the author, visit: Jel Writes or Whitney Rose – Self Help Site

This article is also posted on Full of Knowledge


If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 


Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney

Job Cuts And Unemployment: Time To Dust Off That Resume

Recently the Australia Government announced the cutting of 16,500 jobs within the Public Sector, and given that Australians have been delivered the toughest budget in almost twenty years, many economists are predicting that many jobs will go and unemployment will rise. This article written by Janelle Coulton about resumes might come in handy as many Australians may soon find themselves unemployed.

Words That Can Ruin A Resume'

Jobseekers need to constantly update and pay attention to details when updating their resume’. There are some words that are a complete turn off for recruitment agencies and human resource departments. A good resume’ needs to stand out from all the other applicants and given that jobs can be really competitive, it needs to be close to perfect.

For most people, their resume is not as good as it could be and hiring managers from many companies will say that it all comes down to the language the applicant uses when writing their resume. Job seekers seem to be addicted to all the latest ‘buzzwords’ and are under the mistaken impression that employers love this terminology. Employers will state that they are sick of these words and receiving a resume that is full of clichés is a good enough reason to file that resume in the recycle bin.

Job seekers need to learn what makes recruitment agencies and employers happy when presenting their resume’. Below are the top six words or terms that disappoint a prospective employer, an explanation on why these words don’t work and what words a prospective employee should be using:

Accomplished: The applicant is stating what should be obvious. If he or she is not accomplished then they have probably been fired from every job they have ever held. A better term that could be used is “Peak Performer.”

Results-driven: Every job applicant will use the term “results-driven,” however when applying for a job, the job seeker really does not want to sound like every other applicant. The goal is to stand out from the crowd and be noticed by a prospective employer. Using the term “Performance-Driven” may yield better results for the applicant.

Successful: This word is boring to a prospective employer, and it is also an overused word that appears on many resumes. A job seeker wants to communicate that he or she has been highly successful in their previous places of work and impress a prospective employer. There are better ways to communicate this in a resume. Alternative words and phrases could include; Best In Class, Award Winning, or Top Performer. If the job seeker has won awards or big promotions, these should be detailed on their resume too.
Skillful or skilled: Again these terms are boring. Many hiring personnel hate seeing these words in a resume as it makes the applicant sound incredibly dull and boring. The employer will be thinking that the applicant is not very creative. If a job seeker is having trouble finding an appropriate word to show that he or she is skilled in what they can do, it might be a good idea to use a thesaurus dictionary. Try using the words; Talented, Sharp or Resourceful.

Problem-solver: This is actually a given. There is no human being on the planet that does not problem solve in some way. It is human nature to solve problems. This term really does not need to be on a resume. Again, it is about being creative, use words like; Troubleshooter, Forward-Thinking, or Visionary Leader.

Dedicated and dependable: This is another term that is way overused and boring to a prospective employer. A job seeker really does not want their resume rejected because the person reading it bored with it. Creativity is the key to success here, so try using: High-Potential, Quality-Driven, and Dynamic.

Employers are looking for employees who stand out from the crowd; they really do not want to be reading a resume that bores them to tears. When a resume contains overused words and terms, it will be seen as average, and the prospective employee will be judged as average. No job seeker wants to be seen as just an average employee. When writing a resume it is a good idea for a job seeker to show the person their attributes, not just tell them using certain language. This means giving examples of how the applicant used their skills as a troubleshooter or a forward thinker. Writing a short example about something the applicant did that showed how talented he or she really is. Job seekers need to ensure that their resume is special and gets attention from recruiting staff.

For more information about the author, visit her website:

Janelle Coulton Freelance Writer







If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 



Copyright © 2014 Angie Rose Whitney