Thursday, May 29, 2014

Things That Men Resent About Their Partners Or Wives

There are quite a few things that men resent about women, this article by guest blogger; Janelle Coulton discusses ten things that women do that really upset men.

Every marriage or relationship has conflict. Your partner is not going to like everything about you and there are some things that men absolutely cannot deal with when it comes to their wife or partner. At some point couples will run into these dilemmas and will have to deal with them. It isn’t the fact that your man resents something that you are saying or doing that ruins relationships, what ruins a relationship is dealing with this type of conflict in a negative way or not dealing with it all.

Frustration in a marriage builds because couples are not airing out the dirty laundry and getting these issues resolved and then resentment can build even more, until someone explodes. Couples need to discuss the little, inconsequential things instead of sweeping them under the rug. They may not seem important enough to bring up, but if you feel your husband is getting frustrated with you over something, then it needs to be discussed. Below are some of these most common things about women that men say they resent. The following also contains a little advice on how you can protect your marriage or relationship.

*Wives who don’t fight fair:

All couples fight, whether you and your spouse are happy in your marriage or not. Most happy couples know how to fight fair. Instead of attacking their partner they will describe how they are feeling about the situation. Research shows that wives usually bring up problems in the marriage for discussion. Husbands are most likely to back off if things get tense. When this happens, women will start conversations in a negative way, which makes everything worse. Instead of resorting to put downs and attacks, try telling your husband what the problem is by using several “I” messages. Attacking your husband will just put him on the defensive, when you would do better to ask for what you need.

*Acting like he is a child. 
Men really resent being spoken down to like they are children and they certainly do not want to be micro-managed. This will leave him feeling like less of a man and he will definitely start resenting his wife eventually if this treatment goes on. You may not feel he can be trusted with some things, however you need to let go and trust him to take care of things. If he messes up then hopefully he will learn from his mistake. Some wives will take on their man’s responsibilities because they just don’t trust him to do it right. Your husband will feel completely inadequate if he senses that you don’t trust him to take care of certain things, so stop managing him and trust him to do the right thing.

*Involving a third party
You might think that it is totally harmless to vent your frustration to a friend or family member, but if your husband finds out about it, he may feel as though you betrayed him and this could affect the trust in your marriage. This is a big threat to your marriage as you really have no business complaining to your friends about your relationship and your husband. Men feel hurt and humiliated and will probably never feel totally comfortable in that particular friend or family member’s presence ever again. If you feel the need to express your frustration about your husband, talk to your family doctor or a counselor because this kind of talk really should be confidential.

*Women who show little appreciation:

Men will never tell you this, but they need to feel appreciated. When their wife says thank you for a job well done, men are literally tickled pink as they love nothing more than to please the woman in their life. Giving your husband praise when it’s due is something that he needs and when a man does not hear or see appreciation, they do get upset and begin to hold resentment towards their wife. It is very important that you pay attention to what your husband does, even if he is loading the dishwasher and putting on some laundry, he is likely doing it to show that he cares about you. Let him know that you have noticed his efforts and show your appreciation with a “thank you.”

*Punishing him by withholding sex:
Some women will withhold sex because they are not receiving the emotional intimacy they need to be sexual. Men express their emotional intimacy during sex so these differences can sometimes become a problem. Instead of using sex as a weapon against your husband because he is not providing what you need emotionally, you need to discuss this with him. When wives say no to sex their husband often takes it personally. Using sex as a bargaining chip to get what you need does not work and is emotional blackmail. Your husband may feel less love for you in the end and not more love, so this plan often backfires when women use it.

*Expecting him to change:

People are capable of change, but it is better to focus on changes you wish to make within yourself. Your husband is not going to change unless he really wants to and most men really resent women who try to get them to change. Perhaps you want your husband to eat more healthy food and work out with you. He will do it if he wants to, but there is no need to pressure him. Just take over the cooking and the grocery shopping and make a point of cooking healthy delicious meals. If he doesn’t like these changes then you will both need to negotiate this. Making certain changes for the better are fine, however if you are not content to let your man have a few beers on the weekend and wander about the house in his shorts and thongs then you probably need to loosen up.

*Big decision making without his input. 
Money can be a huge issue between couples, especially when couples are not discussing big purchases and investments. Even couples who have a more generous budget still have money issues. To some money is a powerful thing and sharing the balance of power in a relationship is important. Whether you are considering buying a TV or real estate, your husband needs to be a part of this decision. Big decision do not always revolved around money. You might have made the decision to sign up to go back to school and this will have you out of the house most days and needing affordable childcare. This may not seem like a big deal, but it will be for your husband if you do not discuss it with him.

*Dictating how he should parent the kids

Mothers behave differently towards their children than fathers do. There will always be issues that you both disagree on when it comes to parenting decisions. Some mothers are arrogant enough to believe that they can parent better than their spouse and if your husband starts to hold resentment towards you for your attitude to the way he parents; then it is not surprising. The differences between how mother and father choose to parent their kids needs to be respected. You need to show your husband that you trust him implicitly with the children other wise you are sending him a message that what he does with the children is wrong and what she does is right. Instead, wives need to thank their husbands for being great parents and watching the children when they couldn’t.

*Showing jealousy when he looks at other women

It is okay to look at other women, men do it all the time. Women look at other men all the time too. Men often need more visual stimulation than a woman does so if they see a beautiful woman they will stare. Most women understand this and will not take offence. Getting into an argument over some stranger your husband looked at on the street is not worth it, and if you are feeling a little jealous, keep these feeling to yourself. You husband will be upset if you show your jealously. If you get upset and show your jealousy, he will get on the defensive and the argument that follows will not be productive. It is better to say nothing. If he lets go of your hand and wanders off to talk to her, then you may have a problem.

*Expecting immediate forgiveness after you apologize. 

Apologizing is all very well, however you should not be expecting him to forgive you straight away. He may need time and you should give him that space, especially if you were totally in the wrong and his feelings were hurt. When it comes to marriage, a simple “I’m sorry” often is not enough to really heal the hurt. Spouses will need to show each other in actions that they are really sorry. If you have upset your husband, you need to show him that you do understand why he is feeling upset. You will need to be specific about what you are saying sorry for.

So be sure to remember the advice above so that you can use it to improve and protect your relationship or marriage. There are a lot of things that men do not like about their wives; however the examples listed here are the resentments that could very well destroy your marriage. If you are doing any of the things on this list, then you may want to pay attention to the advice here or book an appointment with a marriage counselor if you and your husband cannot stop arguing about this issue. Many men are not happy about participating in counseling, but once they begin and realise that the counselor is trained to be objective and is there to help get feelings out on the table, he should be okay.

Read more articles by Janelle Coulton at Jel Writes

Copyright © 2014 Janelle Coulton

Copyright © 2014 Whitney Rose

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Is It Possible For A Woman Not To Know She Is Pregnant?

When a woman is unaware that she is pregnant this is known as a cryptic pregnancy. One in four hundred and fifty women reported not knowing they are pregnant until the twentieth week or later. And one in two thousand five hundred women are unaware of their pregnancy until labor starts.

While it is possible to confirm or deny pregnancy with other medical intervention, the problem with this is women who have no clue that they are pregnant or even could be pregnant won’t seek out further testing. Most women will grab a pregnancy test if they even suspect they could be pregnant. But if the test was negative, the woman will believe the result and get back to living her life. While it might seem as though women in this situation are mentally ill, or having a clear case of severe denial, this is likely to not be true. Five percent of women who did not know they were pregnant had schizophrenia and eight percent were found to have some type of personality disorder.

Apparently this condition has nothing to do with denial or a mental illness of some kind; it is a condition that has yet to be fully explained and it is extremely rare. It is only a small amount of cryptic pregnancies that are attributed to personality disorders or schizophrenia. It would appear that women with this condition are sane and well educated. They just do not know they are pregnant. They have no symptoms, no weight gain, no nausea, and very little abdomen swelling. They may still be having periods or have always had irregular periods. If they do suffer from any symptoms, they are likely to be so mild or be mistaken for something else, such as indigestion. There are very real and valid reasons for this happening and it is linked to a mother’s stress levels.

Pregnancy can be a tug of war between the mother and fetus for the mother’s limited resources. The following explanation by Marco Del Giudice, cognitive scientist at the University of Turin is that; most of the time the balance between nourishment for the fetus and mother works in the way it should biologically. But, sometimes the fetus takes nutrients from the mother, the mother holds back but not in a way that would harm the fetus. The fetus may hold back from demanding too much nourishment due certain factors.

Marco Del Giudice has gone on to say that embryos and fetuses let their mother’s know they are there and need nourishment by releasing a hormone known as human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG). This hormone needs to be present in urine to activate a home pregnancy test kit to turn positive. If the fetus is not producing enough then the pregnancy may fall “under the radar” and the pregnancy test may fail and remain undetected by the mother for a considerable amount of time. When a fetus does not release enough HCG, he or she will receive fewer resources or nutrients from the mother, this is why some babies are born preterm or under weight. This is the explanation for small babies, when there does not seem to be a medical reason for the preterm labor occurring or that the baby is so small or underweight.

There are a few factors as to why a fetus may not be producing enough of the pregnancy hormone. Chromosomal anomalies could be one reason; this means that the fetus has a birth defect. Genetics could also play a part; a healthy fetus might put out a low amount of the hormone due to a genetic problem.

Stress could be another reason. According to another theory, a fetus might release less HCG because the mother is dealing with a lot of stress. It is better from the point of view of the fetus for the mother to be oblivious to the fact that she is pregnant, as that might cause more stress. Sometimes the stress of being pregnant and other life stress can lead to a miscarriage.

Del Giudice further pointed out that in our evolutionary past a woman who did not know she was pregnant and was not suffering through the unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy was able to conserve precious energy. She was free to move around wherever she pleased and could eat the food that she chose to. This strategy possibly is not good for the fetus when things in the mother’s life are good. When we are aware of the pregnancy we change our lifestyle accordingly, eat better and evidence will tell us that this helps when growing a healthy and happy, full size and full terms. When a woman goes through hard time, relationship stress and the like, the fetus may release less HCG, or the stressed mother might be less sensitive to the HCG hormone.

Therefore this can be seen that a cryptic pregnancy is an adaptive “emergency” mechanism, which means that the fetus can sense a threat and the basic instinct to survive kicks in. The fetus chooses to demand little from the mother to ensure his or her chances of being born. So the moral of this story is: Don’t be so sure when your pregnancy test turns out to be negative. The pregnancy may not become obvious until month and months after conception.


Copyright © 2014 Janelle Coulton

If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 

Copyright © 2014 Whitney Rose

To read more interesting articles like this visit Full Of Knowledge or Helium 

Meet the Author of this site at Jel Writes.

If you have a project or writing assignment you need done: Visit Janelle and Whitney's Hire Me page today for more information 

This article is also published at Full Of Knowledge

Friday, May 23, 2014

Getting A Win-Win Resolution In A Marriage Conflict

In a marriage there will always be conflict on some level. Most of these conflicts can be solved and other conflicts may be more serious and a couple may need to come to a compromise or simply agree to disagree. In any conflict or argument it is important for couples to find a resolution whereboth spouses win.”

Unfortunately some conflicts can become so confrontational and emotional that for the couple, “winning the argument and being right becomes more important. It is important to point out that being right could eventually ruin the marriage. Winning and making the other person wrong is simply not worth the damage it does to the relationship, the trust between the couple and their future ability to be able to communicate easily.

Working together and following the steps below will hopefully give you some pointers on how to reach a mutually agreeable outcome. Always keep in mind that if your partner loses, then it’s quite likely that marriage does too.

*Be clear about what the problem is; make sure you are both aware of what you are working towards. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the emotion of the situation and forget what it was you were arguing about. Therefore you need to identify what the problem is before you can solve it. Your husband or wife might be angry because you spend too much time at work and not enough time at home. Because of this you may feel that your children and you are missing out on spending quality time with your spouse. Once you are both clear on what the issue is move onto the next step.

*Ask your partner, in a non-confrontational way for what you need and want in order to resolve the issue. Do not accuse and do not use insulting language. Telling your husband or wife they are selfish is not a good way to start. Use “I” messages and speak from the heart. Say something like: “I feel hurt when we don’t get much time together because you are working so much.” Then move onto ask for what you specifically need and want.

*Be prepared to listen to what your spouse has to say. One common argument in marriages is that one or both spouses do not feel like they are being heard. When your partner responds to your request, listen to what they have to say and show them with your body language and non verbal cues that you are listening. Do not interrupt. Maintain eye contact and use verbal cues to show that you have heard what they are saying, such as; “I hear what you’re saying or I understand.” This is called active listening.

*To get a win/win outcome in a conflict with your spouse you need to deliberately search for a solution. If you feel you can’t come up with one right away, then take a break. Doing this will give you and your spouse time to think things over. When you return to the discussion, try to have a brainstorming session and throw some ideas around. Your spouse may not have a solution for how he or she can spend less time at work. It could be a really busy time and not doable for them at this time. If that is the case you need to let it go, but if you are aware that your spouse is putting in extra hours voluntarily then perhaps asking them to cut back a little would work for you.

*Instead of trying to win the argument and get your way, by brainstorming and looking for a solution you are both comfortable with, you will more than likely end up with an outcome whereby both of you win. Be willing to “negotiate and compromise.” Marriage is sometimes about sacrifice and there could be a way you could give something up so that you and your spouse are together more. This might seem like very hard work, and it is but this kind of work is what builds a strong marriage and will bring the two of you closer.

There will be times when it will be impossible to get to a win/win resolution, however you can agree to disagree or set things aside and see where things go in the next few months. Thing change all the time in our lives and you may be able to revisit the dispute down the line with the intention of solving it. Don’t give up and throw your hands in the air in frustration, just take a breath and agree with your spouse to put the issue on the back burner for a short time.

Keep in mind the next time you are arguing with your spouse, that winning the argument is not necessarily a good thing. You may win this round, but in end you are weakening your marriage.

Article Sources:

For more information about the author, visit: Jel Writes or Whitney Rose – Self Help Site

This article is also posted on Full of Knowledge

If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 

Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Job Cuts And Unemployment: Time To Dust Off That Resume

Recently the Australia Government announced the cutting of 16,500 jobs within the Public Sector, and given that Australians have been delivered the toughest budget in almost twenty years, many economists are predicting that many jobs will go and unemployment will rise. This article written by Janelle Coulton about resumes might come in handy as many Australians may soon find themselves unemployed.

Words That Can Ruin A Resume'

Jobseekers need to constantly update and pay attention to details when updating their resume’. There are some words that are a complete turn off for recruitment agencies and human resource departments. A good resume’ needs to stand out from all the other applicants and given that jobs can be really competitive, it needs to be close to perfect.

For most people, their resume is not as good as it could be and hiring managers from many companies will say that it all comes down to the language the applicant uses when writing their resume. Job seekers seem to be addicted to all the latest ‘buzzwords’ and are under the mistaken impression that employers love this terminology. Employers will state that they are sick of these words and receiving a resume that is full of clichés is a good enough reason to file that resume in the recycle bin.

Job seekers need to learn what makes recruitment agencies and employers happy when presenting their resume’. Below are the top six words or terms that disappoint a prospective employer, an explanation on why these words don’t work and what words a prospective employee should be using:

Accomplished: The applicant is stating what should be obvious. If he or she is not accomplished then they have probably been fired from every job they have ever held. A better term that could be used is “Peak Performer.”

Results-driven: Every job applicant will use the term “results-driven,” however when applying for a job, the job seeker really does not want to sound like every other applicant. The goal is to stand out from the crowd and be noticed by a prospective employer. Using the term “Performance-Driven” may yield better results for the applicant.

Successful: This word is boring to a prospective employer, and it is also an overused word that appears on many resumes. A job seeker wants to communicate that he or she has been highly successful in their previous places of work and impress a prospective employer. There are better ways to communicate this in a resume. Alternative words and phrases could include; Best In Class, Award Winning, or Top Performer. If the job seeker has won awards or big promotions, these should be detailed on their resume too.
Skillful or skilled: Again these terms are boring. Many hiring personnel hate seeing these words in a resume as it makes the applicant sound incredibly dull and boring. The employer will be thinking that the applicant is not very creative. If a job seeker is having trouble finding an appropriate word to show that he or she is skilled in what they can do, it might be a good idea to use a thesaurus dictionary. Try using the words; Talented, Sharp or Resourceful.

Problem-solver: This is actually a given. There is no human being on the planet that does not problem solve in some way. It is human nature to solve problems. This term really does not need to be on a resume. Again, it is about being creative, use words like; Troubleshooter, Forward-Thinking, or Visionary Leader.

Dedicated and dependable: This is another term that is way overused and boring to a prospective employer. A job seeker really does not want their resume rejected because the person reading it bored with it. Creativity is the key to success here, so try using: High-Potential, Quality-Driven, and Dynamic.

Employers are looking for employees who stand out from the crowd; they really do not want to be reading a resume that bores them to tears. When a resume contains overused words and terms, it will be seen as average, and the prospective employee will be judged as average. No job seeker wants to be seen as just an average employee. When writing a resume it is a good idea for a job seeker to show the person their attributes, not just tell them using certain language. This means giving examples of how the applicant used their skills as a troubleshooter or a forward thinker. Writing a short example about something the applicant did that showed how talented he or she really is. Job seekers need to ensure that their resume is special and gets attention from recruiting staff.

For more information about the author, visit her website:

Janelle Coulton Freelance Writer

If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 

Copyright © 2014 Angie Rose Whitney

Monday, June 24, 2013

My Future Mother In Law Hates Me

How many times have you heard women say that their boyfriend or fiances mother hates them? This is a problem that is so common these days that it’s kind of scary.

Mothers that cannot cut the umbilical cord with their sons, are unhealthy, dysfunctional and downright frustrating. When your boyfriend has a relationship like this with his mother it is usually about the mother not wanting to let go of her son. She believes her son is being taken away and instead of trying to build a friendship with her soon to be daughter in law, she will find fault with this girl and try to convince her son to break up with her.

Are you the girlfriend/fiance in this scenario? This situation is not going to be easy for you, in-fact it will be downright annoying, hurtful and frustrating. You might be the right girl for him and he may profess to love you and want to marry you, but the obstacles you will need to overcome are difficult to say the least. You may be young and decide that you have all the time in world for boyfriends and marriage and decide to walk away. But it’s not so easy if you are madly in love with your man. How do you convince him to walk away and be a man, independent of his mother? You may have your work cut out for you. She could very well be the trouble making future in-law from hell.

She might make up stories about her son’s behavior when you are not around, and when questioned by her son she denies saying it. It puts your boyfriend in the middle between you and his mother. The best thing you can do if you are going to try and work this out is make friends with his mother, and kill her with kindness. She will be surprised at this because she is hoping you will play her game and make yourself look bad in front of your boyfriend. But if you just be nice, and the next time she makes up stuff regarding her son’s behavior ask her quite innocently if she really believes that her son is seeing other women, because you believe he and you are building a relationship here. Then go on to say that he couldn’t possibly be seeing other women because he is busy at work, with me and helping you out. She may well back off.

It’s all very well to get her to leave you alone, but you have no idea what goes on behind your back and if you are going to achieve getting your boyfriend to be independent of his mother, as it should be, then you are in for more heartache than you realize. One way to tell if you have a shot is to watch him. Is he obsessive about his mother and what she thinks? Does he expect you to wait on him, hand and foot? And lastly, does he act like a child and throw tantrums if things don’t go according to his plan? These are all bad signs.

But before you throw in the towel and call it quits you might want to consider moving to another town or city. If you believe that you and he are made for each other and meant to be, then you will need some distance from his mother and family of origin anyway. If he has the tendency to be a mummy’s boy then moving a few hours away would be beneficial. However, having said that she may follow you there. If she believes that this is the real thing for her son, she will be frightened and scared of losing him. She may try to build a friendship with you.

This would be a problem because anytime you two have a lovers tiff; she will be in it up to her neck, as it is an opportunity for her to get her son back. It is not your place to try and heal her obsessive nature, but she should see a counselor. And don’t take it personally, she would do this to any woman he brought home. No-one will ever be good enough for her son.

If this relationship is what you want then you will need to be patient and stick it out. You will need to get him to see that he cannot be dependent on his mother for the rest of his life and if she is mean or interferes, he needs to step up and tell her off. If he’s not prepared to do that, then you need to run for the hills. If you are able to get him to let go, then you have a much better chance of building a life that is about the two of you and your future. Three people in a relationship is just crazy and what’s more it is so dysfunctional because the third person is your boyfriend’s mother.

Seriously, if your boyfriend does think there is something wrong with his mother being so demanding and obsessive, then there is likely something wrong with him too. Perhaps the two of you can see a family counselor and sort all this out. It is something that should happen before marriage anyway, so if you are getting engaged then make sure that you do some counseling, at least six months before the wedding. So many more marriage would survive if this was a condition for getting a married license.

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Dirty Laundry on Facebook – On Web Upon

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Further Reading:

Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney

Monday, March 25, 2013

Why Nagging Your Partner Doesn't Work

Relationships are never perfect. Partners inevitably do something to upset their significant other at some stage. But do you know how negative nagging someone can be. How frustrating was it when you were nagged by your parents to do whatever, all the time. Annoying; and it is never effective in getting what you want.

Most of us will nag our partners at some stage of the relationship and this is a habit we get into probably because out parents nagged us, and so on; however when a person is constantly being nagged, this is when it becomes negative. And partners have left their spouses simply because they cannot stand being nagged. Not a reason for divorce, but it happens. I had a friend whose father left his mother for this reason, and he subsequently missed out on knowing his Dad, which was this man’s choice; but who stops seeing their kids because their wife’s a nagger? The hope is; not many people.

Why Do We Nag?

Well this was answered before; but nagging is learnt behaviour and usually taught by our Mum or Dad. However nagging can become a nasty habit too. You know you shouldn’t nag, but you can’t help it.

Everyone nags their partner about something. It's normal. And if everyone does it, it must work, right? Wrong. It generally does not work, which is surprising given so many people do this. Some people may give up out of frustration and do what their partner asks; however this is the exception rather than the rule. When most of us are nagged to death, we dig our heels in and won’t budge an inch.

We do it to release tension, or anger. We do it out frustration and we don’t get why the other person does not understand us. We may think our nagging will help someone; however nagging is the last thing that will help. But the main reason we nag is fear; fear that our partner will not make changes if we do not tell them what it is we don’t like.

When fear starts running the show; look out, you are heading down a dangerous path. You have no idea what to do; so out of fear you nag; and fear drives this negative behavior.

Why Nagging Almost Never Works?

Nagging doesn't work! It is counterproductive to your relationship. It does nothing to solidify the bond between you or enhance communication. Nagging can have the opposite effect. Here's why: Nagging is criticism and criticism is negative, hostile, aggressive, and an intimidating act. Nagging someone is akin to informing them that what they are doing is bad or wrong. We may have the best intentions in the world; however nagging is criticizing and most of us get defensive if we are criticized. A person who gets defensive may shut down in order to protect themselves. They will no longer be able to process information in a healthy way. Nagging begets resistance and the more resistant your partner is, the more damage is being done to the relationship. It is impossible to maintain a positive exchange of ideas and feelings if the messages are always negative. Love, acceptance, support, goodwill and commitment cannot be nurtured in an environment where nagging is prevalent.

What To Do Instead

So now you need to undo the damage that your nagging has done. Perhaps your partner nags you about things, but once you begin to make change, you will soon notice a difference in how you relate. Step by step you can fix this; so as to get to better communication with your spouse:

Step 1: Stop Nagging

Right now you need to stop nagging. Just stop nagging about anything, ever. Your partner knows what you are upset about; believe me they know. They will not forget, because they have been hearing your critical words for some time now. Removing the nagging will mean they are no longer on the defensive and if they are not constantly defending their position then they will be more open to change. Breaking this habit won’t be easy, you will need to be tough with yourself; nagging your spouse is a habit that needs to be unlearned and removed from your methods of communication.

Step 2: Is It Really Worth It

Think things over and choose your battles. If the issues you were nagging about are minor, it may be possible to let it go. Decide how important it is to you. Is it worth causing your partner pain? Is the behavior so destructive that you cannot tolerate it and move on? Choosing to be closer to your partner is much better than the hostile environment you are now in. If, after analyzing the issue carefully it is important enough to pursue, then move on to Step 3.

Step 3: Change Your Behavior 

The only behavior we can control is our own, so good communication with ourselves comes first. We have chosen to nag without any results so we are changing this behavior. It will take time before the person is open to change, especially if the nagging has been going on for years. Inform your partner that you will not nag them anymore because you know it causes them pain and you want to get rid of the negative feelings in the relationship. Asking them how you can help them in changing the situation for the better is the first step, and when they tell you what they need, be sure to follow through with that help. Once you know what to do, you can put this into action. Do it no matter what, even if your partner does not follow through on their part right away. Keep doing what they have asked and if necessary you can ask them again if there is anything else you can do to help and then do it. Knowing what to do will help you in the sense that when we are frustrated and nagging our partner, it is largely because we have no idea what to do.

In Conclusion

Finding a healthy compromise is a way to take control of a negative situation. We must always be prepared to give and take and share responsibly for our relationship to shine. It may not be all about your partner or even his fault, there may be contributing factors and some of it might be about what you can do. Things are never the way we perceive them to be from another persons view. There will always be something we can do; change, give up or own up to that will get this process underway and bring about positive changes. Once we take responsibility for our own behavior, our partner should follow suit.

Originally posted by Janelle Coulton on Beyond Jane - Triond

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All photos are used in alliance with the Creative Commons licence from or Proper attribution has been given.

Visit Janelle Coulton's Website to read more articles

If you would like to place a link to your site when commenting, I would be happy to link share or back link from my site to yours. Thanks for visiting today. 

Copyright © 2013 Angie Rose Whitney