You and your partner had a love that was unique. At times, when you were in each other’s arms, you had never been happier in your life, than those special times. But, there were always those tough times, when you quarrelled and argued, and it seemed you may never get back to those happier times. Then one day your relationship fell apart, due to the stress of the bad times and the resentment that tends to build in relationships when arguments are not resolved. Do you also feel that you and your partner were right for each other, that he or she was your soul-mate and all you needed was to learn how to create and sustain a happy, loving and tender relationship? Below are a few suggestions on things you can try to get back together with your lost soul-mate.
1. If you are toying with the idea of reconciliation with your lost love, you need to clear your dating calendar with other people. Many relationship experts have said the exact opposite in regard to this topic, however I believe that if your ex is aware that your energy is focused on dating others, then your chances of re-kindling the love are slim. This will also affect your energy and you will lack the energy needed to commit to your ex-lover. For love to thrive and grow with your ex you need to be fully committed to it working, with all of your heart.
2. When we really want our love back, we are willing to sell our souls to regain their love and affection. Perhaps we let it all go when they treat us badly. We maybe frightened of a confrontation with our ex-love, and scared that, that confrontation may motivate them to move away from us. We may also hide elements of our personality that we believe our ex-love would not like, for the same reasons as above; fear. Fear is not going to get us very far. If you cannot feel the fear and be yourself when with your lover, then you should not be with this person. We all deserve to be loved for who we are and not what people expect of us. If you are true to yourself then you will earn more respect and love this way. Never try to be someone other than who you really are. Never try to please someone by saying what they wish to hear and hold your head up high and be proud of the beautiful person that you are: you will increase your chances of a successful reunion with your ex-love.
3. Everyday when you wake up or before you go to sleep at night, make an affirmation to yourself about something that you love about your partner. For example, that you love their smile, their strong arms, their sweet kisses. You get the idea. Recognize the positive traits in your partner for what they are: these are the reasons you chose to be with your partner, and also why you love your partner. It is so very important to accentuate the positive and celebrate your love. It’s very easy to focus on your problems and the negative issues that your share. What it is that you don’t like about your partner? Sadly that question is very easy to answer and this is because society has trained us to focus on the negative. It would be better if you tried to switch off the negative thoughts and focus on what you love about your partner instead. Not only that, show that appreciation you feel in your heart to your partner, in as many ways as you can think of. Feeling appreciated is so very important to every human being.
4. Is your relationship ending because you or your partner feel taken for granted? Have you broken up, and then gotten back together a few times? Things are great for the first few weeks and then the excitement of re-kindling the relationship tend to go stale and you basically feel taken for granted. One idea to spice things up and make your relationship work is do different things together. You could start a project together; something that you both enjoy doing, like designing a beautiful garden or taking a class together. Join some groups of people who share mutual interests. You maybe lovers of animals, you both volunteer together at an animal shelter or volunteer to walk somebody’s dog, if you do not have your own dog. If you don’t go out much; why not try dating each other? A nice lunch or dinner once every two weeks would help keep those sparks flying. These ideas are to shake your relationship out of the doldrems and bring the excitement and anticipation back that has been missing.
5. Life is full of circumstances that we create and build as we go along. Most of what happens in our live is through our own action and decisions. Granted there are the unexpected nasties that come along to really throw a spanner in the works. Fate; well I don’t know if I would call it fate; some folks might. There are some occurrences in our lives that cannot be controlled. It is the tricky situations that come about in life and how we deal with these situations that design who we are. Couples are at their happiest when they recognise this fact and take their “fate” into their own hands. In other words, if you want to have that kind of power over your life, you and your partner need to believe in the power we have as individuals. Give yourself some time to think about what you really want for yourself. Create a picture in your mind of what your hopes and dreams are for your life and encourage your ex to do the same. The act of creation and visualisation is a very sexy and inspirational thing to do, and your design session with your ex could turn into a very romantic time. Being pro-active in making ourselves happy is what I mean by this and when we are pro-active in our quest for our own happiness, our ex-love will follow in kind.
If you have decided that your ex-love is the person you want to be with, you will be more successful if you focus on who you really are and making sure that there are no influences in your energy. One mistake I have made my whole life is to complain to my friends and family. Big mistake; your friends and family will be biased in their opinions, therefore it is better for you to seek independent advice from someone who does not have a personal and emotional connection to you. When you get together with your ex-love, it is important to try and push the envelope; by doing different things. Appreciate each other, and be proactive in planning your future life together.
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© 2012 Janelle Coulton
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